


I Feel Safest of All

by Elsewhere



Category: The Mighty Boosh
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 03:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsewhere/pseuds/Elsewhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CRACK written for a prompt in an anonymous Boosh fic meme: <i>bollo/gary numan! gary is hesitant and shy. bonus points for fluff.</i> CRACK CRACK CRACK and bestiality and VILE CRACK. Don't read! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Feel Safest of All

"Come out of closet," Bollo said quietly.

Gary shuffled his feet awkwardly and kind of wished there was a handle on the inside of the door as well as the outside, so he could hold it shut. Not that it'd be much of a match for a gorilla, of course, but it'd be _something_. He didn't want to come out of the closet. He wanted to stay very wholly _in_ the closet. _I feel safest of all_, he thought glumly. _It's the only way to live_.

He jumped at the soft rap of leathery ape-fingers knocking on the door, and Bollo spoke again. "Gary. You cannot stay in closet forever."

_I can_, he thought, _and I will_. At least until he was sure he wouldn't bump into Howard and Vince, have to confront in himself, and in their eyes, the shame of not living up to their expectations of him.

"Fine," Bollo said. "Then Bollo get in closet too."

The door swung open, letting in a whoosh of chilly air. The lingering scents of corduroy and glitter rode in on it like invisible surfers, and then there was no room for anything at all, not even scents, because Bollo was cramming into the little cupboard and closing the door behind himself. Gary squashed into the corner. There seemed to be nowhere to put his limbs. He ended up with an arm round the gorilla's massive waist, a leg awkwardly between two furry thighs. Bollo's face was very close. His eyes were very dark, very kind, very worried.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Why are you still in closet?" That husky deep rumbling voice juddered through Gary's body like electricity, and he sighed a sigh that was more like a moan; he liked things that were electric, and things that reminded him of things that were electric.

"I'm alone," he said, simply. "I can think for myself about little deals and issues and things that I just don't understand."

"You mean Vince."

Gary shrugged, uneasy. It was true, of course. He just felt foolish that it was apparently so obvious... then the foolish feeling fled in an instant, because Bollo's big fingers were curling around the back of his head, cradling him in his huge palm and gently stroking his hair, friendly, calming... understanding? Gary looked back at the gorilla's eyes, shocked for a moment and then not shocked at all. He supposed everybody who met Vince was in love with him a little bit, and Bollo _lived_ with the man.

"I was supposed to cheer him up," he said. "Howard phoned me up, he said Vince wanted a boost and could I help, and I said yes. But I couldn't. I'm a failure." To his absolute horror, he felt that hot buzzing burn in his nose signifying the onset of tears. There was nowhere to hide. He couldn't even come out of the closet because the only exit was blocked by a massive ape, who also happened to be holding his head and basically straddling his leg. He was trapped. He did the only thing he could do - he gave in. Burying his face in Bollo's warm musky fur, he let the anguish overcome him.

Bollo was patient with him. More patient than _he'd_ be, Gary thought, if somebody had collapsed into a snotty crying fit all over _him_, which somehow made him cry even harder, with gratitude and the ache of release. Bollo made quiet soothing noises to him, holding him safe, secure against his big chest. Gary could feel his huge ape-heart thudding. Dimly through his tears, he became aware that his own little human-heart was beating just as loudly, and it was this realisation that made him stop crying and just gape instead.

"Bollo?" he said, uncertainly.

Their two hearts beat a syncopated bassline against each other. Bollo's hands were warm and sure, one still on his head, one lower down on his waist.

Gary didn't let himself think about the logistics of how one might go about snogging a gorilla, he just went for it; soft, chaste kisses at first, peppered around Bollo's mouth, around his flaring nostrils, around his forehead and his dark kind eyes. Gary could feel the heat of Bollo's breath on his face, the gentle tug of Bollo's fingers in his hair, the way the other hand was clutching his hip. He could feel himself growing harder. The kiss-trail meandered back to Bollo's mouth and Gary flickered his tongue out, demanding entrance to the gorilla's mouth as he pressed forward with his hips, seeking ... what? A reciprocated hardness to rub against? He encountered only warm fur and the thrumming muscles of Bollo's chest and thighs. Undaunted, he delved deeper into Bollo's mouth until he was touching his tongue, caressing and sucking and licking. At first he imagined it was Vince, he was sucking Vince's tongue and meaning something else entirely, a promise of what would come if Vince would only allow it, but it was a halfhearted fantasy at best, now; the scent of Bollo's fur was so strong and so compelling, the taste in his mouth of weed and bamboo and termites, and he was so big and strong and comforting. Vince would be tiny and bony, Gary realised suddenly, he'd be all pointy and he'd probably be really selfish in bed and wouldn't really go for it in case he messed up his hair or accidentally farted or something, and who wanted that? Bollo was a _real_ man, and Gary was as hard as a rock for him.

He slipped his hand down between their bodies, between Bollo's chunky legs, almost weeping again in anticipation of the huge hard cock waiting to replace Bollo's tongue in his mouth, but he was pushed away.

"No," Bollo said. "Bollo saves little cock for little Naboo. But you can have Bollo's hand." It seemed a good enough alternative. Kind, sweet, gentle Bollo slipped his fingers into Gary's mouth and he sucked them like a warm lollipop.

_We are not lovers_, Gary thought, relaxing his anus around two spit-drenched ape-fingers until he was filled and the electricity was zinging through his nerves. _We are not romantics_. But maybe it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


End file.
